Create A New World!
Today I said goodbye to my pet. She was sick and her body could no longer cope. Her kidneys suddenly stopped working, which forced me to make the difficult decision to end her life here.
Up until then I had taken care of her. Consulted with the vet and sensed what she needed for possible recovery. I observed her body again and again from within. I opened all possibilities, so that she could actually experience recovery as a reality. Unfortunately, saying goodbye was also an option. The best for her at the time.
But I was not ready for it yet. I had already processed a goodbye earlier this year. I was not ready for an even emptier house, for the change and for the loss of yet another little friend. Nevertheless, I acted accurately this morning. After last night it was clear to me what I had to do. There was space available at the vet. It went smoothly. After the anesthetic injection I already felt that she had started the journey. She slowly left this reality and I only held her body in my arms.
I have the privilege that I was allowed to bury her somewhere. In a beautiful place in nature near water. A spot next to her previously departed buddy. I acted and cried. Time stood still and yet I had to continue. My body also started asking for attention and care. I also felt the heartbreaking pains of having to say goodbye in this world.
When I got home, everything was different. All her things that had led to small rituals lay there aimlessly. Every corner in my house is no longer what it was this morning. A transformation that was not voluntary on my part, but in which I had to put myself aside out of love for my traveling companion.
I cried, cried and cried some more. Energy flowed and was in full motion. I could experience the emotional fields on very deep layers within myself. Deep and heavily vibrating, they set many layers in motion within me. I experience how this takes place within me. In addition to the painful experience, I can also feel how special these intense emotions are. How they wave through my body with great force in the frequencies. How I can understand this frequency language without understanding it.
And then time stands still. Everything around me falls silent. The brain seems numb from the crying and the vibrations. I am only feeling and I perceive that. The question arises in me "Is this all real?" In the logic of thought I know that she was there and that I have memories of that. But in the timeless silence, in the grandeur of the now-moment, much information falls away from what apparently was or is yet to come. I test it in my feelings. How tangible are the memories of her?
I discover layers in my emotional field that have not been in contact with her. In those layers of consciousness she did not exist. And that feels just as true as the department in my consciousness that still remembers her clearly. It is a strange sensation and I really wonder what role my brain plays in this.
My memories are in a logical order. I have acted and experienced in a process from A to B. But in the now-moment everything is present at the same time, including the option that the experience could not be there. In the now moment, time stands still and I experience an enormous expansion of my field of consciousness that consists of full fields of emotion. A consciousness that reaches so far that it can connect with everything, without having to reach. I am strength and I experience that so beautifully through the farewell of a friend.
And hey, who do I feel stroking my leg. For a moment it seemed as if she … And yes, in my timeless inside I see her stroking her body along my leg and she looks at me with full confidence and connection.