There is an invitation for me to participate in a group where I can show more of myself.
I absorb the information. It is about the goal, the method, the depth, etc.
The moment I realize that I have to show more of myself in a group, an acute aversion flares up in me. I can feel it deeply. Everything in me screams: "No don't!".
If I didn't know better, I would say, “I'm not participating in this, this doesn't feel right, it's not for me”.
But I know better and, first of all I am amazed of the acute invasion of resistance that flares up like a tsunami. I didn't see it coming, but suddenly it's there.
Thoughts get going. I wonder why I suddenly find it so scary. What can be the benefit of participating in it? Do I fit into such a group? Am I ready? What if I can't do it well? What if I don't meet the condition? What if I want to leave, what do others think of me?
Then I hear myself thinking: But I still want to move forward. Where can I get the courage?
All these questions and judgments do not bring me answers.
And then it is clear to me what I can do.
I put my hand on my heart and connect with my self in the here and now. I connect deeply with my own original field. All thinking falls off me like a tight straightjacket. The tightness and fear that thinking entails disappear into an ocean of consciousness, love and self-respect.
Yes there I am again! My spacious, real and feeling self.
In this room I feel the information of the invitation very well. I experience it very differently now. It feels like an enrichment, a challenge and a connection.